“The drops of rain make a hole in the stone, not by violence, but by often falling,” Lucretius.
Do you want to change your own Toxicity and be a happier person?
If you are behaving in a very toxic manner, it results in emotional and physical stress. You can’t live with negativity, but you can’t live without it either. Your mind becomes addicted to what you feed it the most. Think, Where do you need to stop being a doormat, and start speaking up. What are the behaviours you need to change?
Here are some tips to decrease your own toxicity :
- Know yourself
Self-talk can either be a powerful stepping stone or a major obstacle to reaching your goals. Ask yourself, “Do I have a negative outlook on life?” “Am I always approaching situations from a negative perspective?”.
The first step to defeating toxic habits may be the hardest but don’t get overwhelmed. You’re already halfway there. Start by observing how you react or judge others. People are mirrors; they reflect our shadow when we fail to see it. Write one trait or aspect that you admire or dislike. Review the list and reflect on what those words say about what you don’t want to see or ignore about yourself. Give yourself time to think about this and really analyse those moments just before you engage with your bad habit. Ask yourself, “Am I self-aware?”
- Recognise triggers
Not everyone is perfect, we know that. There are always aspects of yourself that you can improve on. You have to recognise what triggers your toxic habits. Let’s say your habit is that you always have to have a can of soda in hand. Do you reach for that can of soda when you are stressed? Tired? Angry? What thoughts are racing through your head before you open the fridge?
Think deeply, then have a response prepared for when you see those triggers happen.
- Make Small Changes
Dream big, start small. Building positive habits is not easy. It take a lifetime to train our mind. Learning new things, experimenting, making mistakes, becoming vulnerable, or developing positive habits requires energy, time, dedication, practice, patience, and determination. Do not feeling motivated to exercise? Work out anyway. Your toxic wolf will say you are tired. Just keep moving on. Some habits can be stopped if you make small changes by replacing what you do in the moment when you feel like you’re about to engage with your toxic habit. Practise regularly in a happier state of mind. Without forcing an entirely new lifestyle on yourself all at once.
- Write plan and evaluate progress
To measure your progress and the efficiency of your action plan, weekly and monthly self-evaluations. Ask yourself if you are genuinely working towards your goals. If you feel at any time that you are not making positive progress, feel free to change your action plan. Try to write down your thoughts, successes, and failures. When you feel discouraged in the future, you can go back to this evaluations and remind yourself how far you have come. It will help you process the steps you have taken and provide essential encouragement.
- Take feedback positively
Feedback. This simple word, and the action it represents, has the power to create an open, positive and healthy lifestyle. When absent, it has the power to promote toxic behaviour. When others give you feedback, listen closely for their intentions. Try to be active listening enough. If you are someone who struggles to remember what people have said to you, it can be hard to notice this. Being defensive and focusing on your response prevents you from hearing, and learning. Instead, focus on what is being said, make an effort to be open and show genuine interest in what you hear. Take feedback positively for your betterment.
- Reward yourself
Reward. It is important to reward yourself for your progress, however small. When life gets to be too much, just stop whatever you are doing and take a break in the lap of nature. Whatever those rewards are, think of them if you find yourself leaning back towards your toxic habit. So, what will be the actual rewards of doing that? Visualising these rewards will make your plan to get there so much more important. You might see yourself spending more time with your family, excelling in your job, or making better grades. Reward will encourage you to stick with the plan, because every step forward is what’s going to make that change happen.
Toxicity is like a rock , it feels a hard opponent. Keep your raindrops coming.
