“Do you struggle while communicating with another person when they cry or talk about their problems?” Have you seen people who talk insensitively about a person or situation without thinking about how it would affect them?

I am sure most of us have been on both boats. This is because the majority of people are not emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence is regarded as more important than IQ or bookish knowledge. 

Emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to understand the emotions of himself and others.

That is, it is the power of a person to understand their feelings and be able to control their own emotions as well as influence the reactions of others with empathy and understanding while communicating with people.

But many of us don’t know what are the traits or actions of a person who has low emotional intelligence despite doing those in our day-to-day life.

So here are 8 practical examples of a person who does not show emotional intelligence:

 

1. When one Cannot handle Criticism: 

Suppose, Zayn from the group of five-member team did his part of the project unsatisfactorily. So when the professor criticized him harshly he couldn’t take it normally.

And, he started saying bad things about the professor to his teammates like ‘I know my section was fine, the professor just doesn’t like me. He is like that with me always!’ 

This sign of not acknowledging one’s own mistakes and taking constructive criticism as a process of growth is the trait of an emotionally weak person.

 

2. Constant Negative Self-Talk:

‘NO! I won’t get this job, my interview was not good! My luck is too bad. I am such a useless person, why the hell am I in this world, God!’

We see many friends, and family members including ourselves saying similar things. One feels hopeless and lost during these self-criticisms.

But this is one of the signs of low emotional intelligence. These minds think of themselves as hopeless creatures whose luck is always doomed. And thinking so they do not work for changing their luck and life.

 

3. I Won’t Say Sorry Attitude: 

“A simple sorry mends a lot of things. But a low EQ person doesn’t know how to accept his faults and say sorry.”

Suppose you are mutual friends with a couple and they are talking to you about their recent argument. The guy is someone who never says sorry even when it is his fault. And this time the girl has also decided to not be the first one to say sorry.

This way they stayed without talking with each other for over a week. Here the guy is an emotionally less intelligent person because he doesn’t realize his mistakes and does not care about the sentiments of his partner.

If he had been an emotionally intelligent person he would not have gone without communicating with his partner for so long.

 

4. Always Blaming Other People: 

“A person who stays indifferent towards other people’s emotions and cannot judge what is right and what is wrong always blames others for things he is responsible for.”

For example, when your friend blames you for every problem that both of you face even when she was the one initiating the dangerous plan, you have to understand that she is not emotionally intelligent and does not take responsibility for her wrongdoings.

 

5. Cannot Say NO: 

“Hey, Alizeh! Let’s go out tonight at 9 pm. You are free right? I am sure you are.”

To this, Alizeh agreed on going. But here’s the catch, she said yes with hesitation as she had a test and a paper submission the next morning but she went out with her friends because she cannot say No.

The reason for this is that she is scared of losing friends and her close ones by hurting their emotions if she denies any help to them.

However, she also knows this way she always hurts herself and creates unnecessary stress for herself as now she has to go out with friends and study after that for an early morning test.

Alas! had she been emotionally intelligent she would know where to draw the limit and deny any help that is not good for her.

 

6. Release Negative Energy in their Surroundings: 

“A person who is not emotionally intelligent spreads negative energy wherever he goes through his words, actions, and expressions.”

As an example, we can take the reaction a woman gives when she goes to a mobile service center. This woman who took a service from one of the officials found some mistake and despite soberly telling the guy her problem, she started shouting.

She began shouting words – “Why did you make this mistake? I won’t give the extra money for the repairing, you have to take the responsibility.”

This incident created an uncomfortable situation among the other customers and it also portrayed her negatively to others as the official was already scared of losing his job. This shows she is not emotionally intelligent.

 

7. Insensitive Behavior Toward Other People’s Feelings:

“How often do we meet people who are not empathetic. They don’t try to understand the emotions of others.”

These emotionally non-intelligent people speak without giving a second thought. They don’t realize their words might hurt somebody, it might reduce their confidence, or scar someone for life.

Suppose, your child got a bad result in one subject. Now if his friend’s mother comes and starts saying “ My son came first in class this year. I couldn’t be prouder of him.” 

These words are not sensitive to you and your child but she doesn’t realize the impact of her words on you which shows how low she is on EQ.

 

8. Every Conversation Ends with Them: 

“Suppose, you are telling a friend of yours about how you have been battling with depression and expressed your most vulnerable side to him. 

Now, this friend of yours does listen to you but at the end of your conversation, he adds, Yes, dude I get you. I also experienced something like this. My one was even worse than yours, I had no one to talk to. You have no idea how I came out of that dark phase.” 

His statement leaves you speechless and the conversation ends. The fact that he compared his experience with your current condition shows that he is not emotionally intelligent.

Because had he been an emotionally intelligent person he would have let the conversation be only about you and not include himself.

 

So just like the above examples, analyze your everyday actions and create a sense of understanding that should cultivate the habit of Emotional Intelligence in you as it will be good for your personal and professional success, peace of mind, and keep you healthy physically and mentally.

Since the tactics of how to be an emotionally intelligent person can be learned one must take the time to apply this great mind-controlling hack in their life.