LIFE CYCLE

Our life revolves around needs & wants. As we grow up, we go through changes. The intensity & time span of the needs keep changing. When we are kids, we all want attention & care. While we grow up, we strongly feel the basic needs, namely –

Physiological needs, security needs, belongingness needs, esteem needs & self-actualization needs. The first one – the physiological needs are composed of food, clothes, treatment, home, sex, etc. life is never complete if any of the needs remain unfulfilled. Our whole life is a pursuit to fulfill these needs round the year. As we grow older & complete or can fulfill these physiological needs, we feel the need for security followed by belongingness. This way we march forward to the next set of needs.

 

ROLE OF SEX

Sex is a bodily activity lead by passion guided by hormone. It is one of our prime & raw needs. When we are matured physically, we understand the fatal attraction for sex. In many societies, talking about sex is a taboo but still they recognize the importance of this.

It is hunger that pushes your body & soul. It demands another body. It has been proved that regular & healthy sex of a matured person is one of the factors influencing happiness. The role of sex in our life is strong as the long deprivation of it makes a person frustrated both mentally & emotionally which affects the physical health as well.

 

SEX FANTASY

Sex fantasy is a habit of human beings that make them amused & active. This is much observed among bachelors. At student life, “sex” is the most common talked about topic. As students feel uncomfortable talking about it with parents, they share their thoughts, stories & ideas with their friends.

In most cases it is a source of amusement & great fun for most of the students irrespective of the place & class they belong to. Even the shy person in the class will also get charged up while others are sharing some sex scenes they have watched in any movies or series.

This is the fantasy when it goes uncontrolled, people try to experience this in real life forgetting safety issues.

 

EROTOPHOBIA

There comes erotophobia. Although majority of the people have fun in the discussion of sex, there will be few people who simply do not feel comfortable with the idea of sex. These people might not be available in every circle we are attached to, but it is an issue of grave concern.

It is a kind of phobia. A fear of having sex that consumes their minds & thought process. When all of their close friends in all circles do talk about their fantasy & experience, the one with fear of sex fall in huge trouble. They neither become happy nor can they show unhappiness!

They simply can’t show their feeling of fear or disgust or strong disliking because of the series of questions from their peers. Actually what goes into your mind you just can’t explain it to others. They won’t even realize the way you feel.

This fear of sex or the nature of staying from sex & sexual activity is called erotophobia or genophobia. To the people who feel excited about sex may find this absolutely absurd & unreal. But the truth is, there does exist genophobia or erotophobia. This is as true as the darkness of the night.

People with erotophobia feel extremely uneasy to listen to sex stories or watch sex scenes. They do not get excited at it whereas all of his or her other fellow-mates just can’t stop talking about it.

 

REASONS OF EROTOPHOBIA

So, now as we know that there exists erotophobia, we must know the causes behind it. Because, this is not a simple disliking, when something becomes a phobia, it actually starts hampering the regular lifestyle of a person. So much so that, the person eventually shuts himself or herself down from all the circles becoming a prey to depression.

 

So, let’s find out the reasons of depression:

 

EXTREME SHYNESS

There are some people who feel extremely shy to think about. To them this is an ultimate breach of privacy. It is perceived as a violent intrusion to the private parts of their body. Although they are aware of the importance of sex for bringing next generation to this earth, still it does not reduce their fear or severe discomfort.

They don’t hold anything against anyone, it’s just they are unable to think of it as a thing to get fun from.

 

OVER-THINKING

Another reason for erotophobia is the habit of over-thinking. Some people are prone to overdoing it. Their minds are always thinking about –

• How it is done
• Why it is done
• Who starts it?
• Is it painful for the first time?
• What happens if I don’t like my partner?

& stuff like that. When you think much more than what is required, you tend to be stressed. This stress level increases so much that you tend to stay away from it. You develop a fear of sex as you have thought a lot & in return you just lost interest.

 

PAST TRAUMA

Sometimes, we feel afraid of sex when there is a traumatic experience about it. In the growing stage sometimes, we can’t control our urge & we try to experience it losing our sense. At that time, we land in great trouble. Adolescence is a very sensitive stage of life. This age can neither be bracketed in childhood nor in adulthood.

So, if some wrong move is taken to experience sex, it creates a permanent wound in mind & it always comes up. This past trauma hinders people to go for experiencing healthy sex life.

 

INABILITY TO TAKE IT AS FUN

There are some people, for whom sex can’t be taken as an act to have fun in! They just fail to take it as an activity of substance. Where most people wait eagerly to enjoy it, perform it, people with erotophobia love to stay away from it because they feel awfully uncomfortable. To them this is an activity that does not need any hype or speculation.

 

HYGIENE ISSUES

Some people are afraid to go for sex or even a physical intimacy because they think the other person will not be clean enough! People with intense hygiene standards always find problems in others. The little sign of non-hygienic issues create huge disliking & disgust among them. So, whenever there is a talk about sex or physical intimacy, these people think about the unhygienic situations that might occur.

 

INSECURITY WITH OWN BODY

There are people who always stay away from sex because they are never comfortable with their own body structure. This happens equally in men & women. They have a tendency to think that they are less than others. They perceive they have some deficiency. They are never confident about their body organs. This has a connection with pornography.

Some people at an early age get used to watching that stuff & start to believe that what is displayed is reality. They fail to think that it’s all fabricated & things are augmented and stimulated by artificial methods.

 

EFFECTS OF EROTOPHOBIA

The following behaviors will be visible as the effects of erotophobia:

• Avoiding discussing sex
• Willingness to be a loner
• Saying no to marriage
• Building platonic relationships
• Detachment from crowd

 

CURE FROM EROTOPHOBIA

Actually this requires counseling along with some cognitive exercise to beat this erotophobia. One has to start thinking in a different way now. Help from a psychologist or psychiatrist comes as a great rescue in this case. This is a sensitive issue, sometimes a taboo & so people hide talking about it.

But no matter how they hide it, the truth comes out which often makes people embarrassed & give more stimuli to lead a detached life. Eventually this detachment makes things more uncomfortable. So, a cure is a must.

Some steps to get cured from erotophobia are suggested here:

• Believing that erotophobia is curable.
• Unblocking one’s thinking about it.
• Consulting certified psychiatrist or psychologist.
• Beating every negative thought with a positive one.
• Being confident with your own body & mind.
• Disregarding fabricated visual contents of sexually explicit activities. Etc.

 

THE FINAL REMARK

Erotophobia is there & it does hamper the regular flow of life. The basic thing is, when we face certain problems like this, we think this is the end & I will never be able to live a normal life like others. But the truth is no matter how disturbing this fear of sex is, this is curable!

This erotophobia is very much curable with some counseling & mental exercise. One has to be his or her own guide for this. The willpower to come out of it is the first step. Then searching for a trusted organization to talk & share is the next step where counseling service is provided.

People will be different in their visions & lifestyle. If one person does not match the characteristics of his or her circle or familiar group, it should be taken as a fact to gossip or joke about. It should be taken as a very regular thing. People must show fellow-feelings for all & must not outcast somebody for holding a different thought.